The Marie Kondo of the Gaelic entire world rearranges his garage

FÁILTE ROMHAIBH isteach, welcome to all you do-it-yourselfers and to the clueless much too, it’s a further self-assembly Bluffer’s Manual to Irish.

The Bluffer was at IKEA at the weekend and leis an fhírinne a dhéanamh – to inform the reality, the Bluffer quite likes making his way by way of the cathair ghríobháin – the maze of remarkable things you have to have to clutter or declutter your house.

He is innately one of these persons who likes to be eagraithe – organised and at occasions, he’s like Marie Kondo on steroids as he moves truflais – junk from just one put to one more – without having any recognizable enhancements!

Cuir sin sa bhosca bruscair – put that in the rubbish bin you can inform your small children/wife or husband as you test to get to grips with the mountains of things that are coming involving you and your Feng Shui.

The list of offending things could be infinitesimal but for some irrational cause, a minimal voice in your head tells you that you will view an seanfhiseán VHS sin – that aged VHS video clip or that your George Foreman grill will occur helpful one particular of these days and that bell-bottoms will certainly be back again in design this yr.

You will truly feel a tug-of-like as you make a decision irrespective of whether or not you really should maintain your caiséid – cassettes in the age of streaming and if that aged poster of Barry Manilow even now gives you the shivers. 

Some factors you will definitely retain of study course, seanghrianghráfanna – aged photos, cuimhneacháin – souvenirs of holidays from Bundoran to Bangkok and of class, all your crucial files like teastais breithe – beginning certificates, arrachas tí – property insurance etcetera but the place do you continue to keep them?

Stóráil – storage is a bit issue mainly because we all have ginormous quantities of things in our residences, from fáiscíní gruaige – hairclips to cianrialóirí – distant controls, boscaí uirlisí – software boxes and the Bluffer has a cathaoir luascáin – a rocking chair, an unused pool desk, gloiní – eyeglasses of all designs and measurements, coinnlí – candles, supporters, food mixers, Xmas decorations, a filing cabinet and a cornucopia of other “we’ll need to have it sometime in the future” crucial non-essentials in his.

So, it was a trip to the Holywood Trade at the weekend, a customized related to the trek of the wildebeest by means of Africa as they go in look for of grass, but in the situation of IKEA, it is lánúnacha meán-aicmeacha – middle-course couples who migrate in search of a pleasant nest of tables or a Nordic sofa.

For the Bluffer, component of the exciting of IKEA is unsuccessfully hoping to perform out the etymology of the Swedish names for factors as he wouldn’t know his Sundvik from his Sköldblad.

In the conclusion, he purchased a Kallax (no, seriously) which is “stylish and very simple storage shelving” turning his garage into a scene from The Killing.

Ord na haibitre – alphabetical get is important to the Bluffer as he dumps the detritus lying about the residence into his Nordic niche so that, if they ever do come to be needed they can be easily found.

The Bluffer sees this as popular sense even though a cruel globe accuses him of having OCD.

Whatcha think?


leis an fhírinne a dhéanamh (lesh un eerinye a yanoo) – to tell the real truth

cathair ghríobháin (caher yreeawaan) – the maze 

eagraithe (ugreeha) – organised

truflais (truflash) – junk 

cuir sin sa bhosca bruscair (ker shin sa wucsa brusker) – put that in the rubbish bin

an seanfhiseán VHS sin (un shaneeshaan VHS shin) – that outdated VHS video

caiséid (casaydge) – cassettes 

seanghrianghráfanna (sheanyreeangraafana) – previous images

cuimhneacháin (kivnyakhaan) – souvenirs

teastais breithe (chastish brayha) – birth certificates

arrachas tí (arakhiss tee) – home insurance coverage

stóráil (storaal) – storage

fáiscíní gruaige (faashkeenee grooige) – hairclips

cianrialóirí (kanereealoree) – remote controls

boscaí uirlisí (buksee erleeshee) – resource boxes 

cathaoir luascáin (caheer looascaan) a rocking chair

gloiní (glinyee) – glasses

coinnlí (cunlee) – candles

lánúnacha meán-aicmeacha (laanoonaha maan-acmakha) – center-course partners

ord na haibitre (ord ne habeetchre) – alphabetical order