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Dad of Ridgefield boy who died in hot car grapples seven years later as family advocates for safety measures

Six years ago, when a judge told the Ridgefield father accused of the criminally negligent hot-car death of his toddler that he was free to go because the father had been punished enough, the judge seemed to know the kind of life the man faced.

“I can’t punish you more than you have already been punished,” Superior Court Judge Kevin Russo told Kyle Seitz, as he was released on a conditional discharge that required him to stay out of trouble and keep up with counseling.

But the judge couldn’t have foreseen how Seitz’s relationship with his wife would grow through the trials of grief and guilt to find hope on the other side.

“My sentence started on July 7 and I’m still living it,” said Kyle Seitz in his first media interview since July 7, 2014, when he forgot to drop off his 15-month-old son Benjamin at child care and left the boy all day in the searing heat of a rear-facing car seat. “It took years for me to get to a place where I could forgive myself.”

Benjamin Seitz, the 15-month-old son of Kyle and Lindsey Rogers-Seitz of Ridgefield, died July 7 after his father left him in the car for what police called

Benjamin Seitz, the 15-month-old son of Kyle and Lindsey Rogers-Seitz of Ridgefield, died July 7 after his father left him in the car for what police called “an extended period of time.”

Carol Kaliff / Contributed photo

It was a Ridgefield story that made national news in part because it was hard to understand – even for Seitz. How could a conscientious father of three described by his wife as a model family man not realize his mistake until the end of the day, when it was too late?



The answer people didn’t expect was that Seitz was neither distracted nor impaired but suffered a lapse in his prospective memory, according to the family and police records.

“We had simply had a change in routine that morning,” said his wife, Lindsey Rogers-Seitz. “[H]is habitual memory or “autopilot” took over for his prospective memory, which plans tasks that will happen as the day progresses.”

During an interview last week from their home in North Carolina, Lindsey Rogers-Seitz said the loss of her baby boy has been transformative.

“It has taken the good part of seven years for me to accept myself and love myself and my imperfections in order to love Kyle,” said Rogers-Seitz. “I’ve gotten angry, I’ve yelled, I’ve gotten upset, and it’s been really bumpy, but within the past year we have fallen back in love, and it’s a good feeling to be back in love.”

Kyle Seitz, Lindsey Rogers-Seitz and their daughters, Riley and Kaylyn.

Kyle Seitz, Lindsey Rogers-Seitz and their daughters, Riley and Kaylyn.

Contributed photo

Kyle Seitz said he decided to speak out now, just days before the 7th anniversary of his son’s death on Wednesday, because of promising legislation in Washington, D.C., where his wife and 12-year-old daughter, Riley, spoke during a press conference last week with car safety advocates.

“The hardest part about all this for me is every year when this happens to someone else,” said Kyle Seitz, speaking of the 250 children who’ve died in hot cars nationwide since 2014. “We have the ability to prevent this sort of thing, and the bottom line is, it would save lives.”

Lindsey Rogers-Seitz agrees, calling it “big news” that a provision she and the nonprofit KidsandCars.org have advocated passed the House of Representatives on Thursday as part of a larger transportation safety bill.

“The act would require car manufacturers to include devices that would notify the driver and people around the car that a child is still in the car,” Rogers-Seitz said. “Even though I am a proponent of this legislation, there is still personal responsibility that we all have. My husband was responsible.”

If those last words about her husband’s responsibility sound like a sticking point, it’s because they were.

The responsibility Kyle Seitz accepted for his son’s death meant part of his grieving would have to be done alone.

Riley Seitz, 12, holding a picture of her brother, Benjamin during a press conference on Capitol Hill to promote a federal transportation safety bill called the Invest in America Act, Thursday July 1, 2021.

Riley Seitz, 12, holding a picture of her brother, Benjamin during a press conference on Capitol Hill to promote a federal transportation safety bill called the Invest in America Act, Thursday July 1, 2021.

Contributed photo

“When I see her grieve, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt, and that is something you have to work through that takes a long time,” Kyle Seitz said. “Somebody said to me, ‘If God can forgive you, why can’t you forgive yourself?’ and that was the turning point for me.”

Kyle Seitz’s unconditional admission of guilt, without deflecting blame or making excuses, was also the turning point for Lindsey Rogers-Seitz.

“For years when I would get angry, I would say to him, ‘You killed my son,’ and ‘You did this – how can I forgive you’?” Rogers-Seitz said. “And he kept saying, ‘Lindsey, I am guilty – I can’t say anything.’ Finally, I was able to break through and see that we are all imperfect and I could love him unconditionally again.”

After Ridgefield

Today, the Seitzes, both 42, are raising their two teenage daughters outside of Raleigh, with nothing but good things to say about Ridgefield, a home they never wanted to leave.

But the moment Kyle Seitz was charged with criminally negligent homicide in November 2014, Lindsey Rogers-Seitz was carrying out plans to move with her daughters to Colorado to protect them from headlines about their father’s court appearances.

It was in those months of isolation that Kyle Seitz learned who his friends were.

“One of our friends who lived nearby was battling a very serious case of cancer and she showed up at my house out nowhere with soup and a sandwich because she said I hadn’t been eating well,” Seitz said. “She has since passed from cancer and if I live to be 100 years old, that is something I will never forget.”

Benjamin Seitz, the 15-month-old son of Kyle and Lindsey Rogers-Seitz of Ridgefield, died July 7 after his father left him in the car for what police called

Benjamin Seitz, the 15-month-old son of Kyle and Lindsey Rogers-Seitz of Ridgefield, died July 7 after his father left him in the car for what police called “an extended period of time.”

Contributed Photo

More and more, Seitz said, he sees the importance of keeping his story alive in order to save other lives.

“For me and for Lindsey, talking about the healing process and seeing this bill get passed would be tremendous, because I hate to say it, but there are going to be more families like us,” Seitz said. “That’s what the statistics tell us. Every year this happens.”

The trouble starts in the warm weather months when internal car temperature can reach 125 degrees, even with windows cracked, the nonprofit CarsandKids.org says.

Children, whose bodies overheat 3-to-5 times faster than an adult’s, have died from heatstroke in cars when outside temperatures were as low as 60 degrees,” the nonprofit says. Rear-facing car seats such as the one Benjamin Seitz was in, “look the same to the driver whether there is a baby in it or not.”

Kyle and Lindsey Rogers-Seitz, with their daughters Riley, left, and Kaylyn.

Kyle and Lindsey Rogers-Seitz, with their daughters Riley, left, and Kaylyn.

Contributed photo

As much as Kyle Seitz wants to share his story to raise awareness for others, he knows that some of his experience won’t translate, partly because it is still a mystery to him.

“I don’t know why this happened to us,” Seitz said. “I will probably never know.”

Lindsey Rogers-Seitz agrees. It’s partly why she has been working on a book, written in her baby’s voice.

“It isn’t my book – it’s Ben’s; Ben has given me a voice to talk about difficult things,” Rogers-Seitz said. “I would never have the courage to do this if it wasn’t for Ben.”

rryser@newstimes.com 203-731-3342